Introduction
“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” Arthur Ashe
As Arthur Ashe said, an important key to self confidence is preparation. After reviewing the preparation part of the site. We hope you now have more confidence in your content and have a general idea of what you would like to say. Like taking a test, you are beginning to get your hands around the subject and you know what you need to do next. Going through the preparation stage first should reduce some of your anxiety.
Another source of anxiety and why we approach it early on in the process is the anxiety about getting up in front of people and giving a speech. There are countless books, hypnosis classes, psychological counseling and other proposed recommendations to help assist you in overcoming your fears. What you do not need is another book on the subject, so what I have attempted to do in this section of the site is to highlight some of the things you can do to reduce anxiety. Like anything, what will work for one person may not work for another. You will have to develop the right formula that works for you.
Keeping it in Perspective
The most important thing you can do to try to calm your fears is to put things into perspective. I want you to think back and remember all of the conferences and business speeches that you heard. Do you remember the toast or speech? Do you remember the key points that were delivered?
I’m willing to bet that you do not. So remember: this is not an inaugural speech where millions of people will be watching you. It’s not likely to make or break your career. Actually, most of the time a mediocre speech is expected!!!
Relax
Remember the physical reactions you experience in front of a group are normal. When confronted with a stimulating situation the body resorts to the "fight" or "flight" response. Your pulse increases. Adrenaline releases into your bloodstream. Your body prepares for a physical response but you have to stay put!
Sometimes your mind generates negative thoughts. Michael Pritchard said, "Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed." * Deal with the fear by building a solid foundation (know your topic!) and feeling confident in your message. Take a few deep breaths. Mild exercise or stretching can disperse some of the anxious energy.
Remember to smile. It is one of the best ways to relieve tension for yourself and the audience.
*For more great quotes and other speech ideas sign up for the Podium Notes trial membership --- it’s Free.
Realize 90% of nervousness doesn't even show
The audience usually can't see the butterflies, or shaky hands, or sweaty palms. The problem occurs when we start thinking about these symptoms rather than focusing on the audience and our topic. By human nature, most people are focused on themselves not on you. Focus on them and two things will happen: 1) they will like you more, and 2) much of the nervousness that you feel will go away.
Public speaking is not essentially stressful
Most of us have been taught to believe that life as a whole is very stressful!
To deal with any type of stress effectively, you first must understand that life itself, including public speaking, is NOT essentially stressful. Thousands of human beings have learned to speak in front of groups with no stress at all. Many of these people were initially frightened to speak in public. Their knees would shake, their voices would tremble, their thoughts would become jumbled. Yet they learned to eliminate their fear of public speaking completely.
You are no more or less human than they are. If they can conquer the fear of public speaking, so can you! It just takes the right guiding principles, the right understanding, and the right plan of action to make this goal a reality.
You don't have to be perfect!
Many of us have observed public speakers and thought to ourselves "Wow, I could never be that smart, calm, witty, entertaining, polished . . . or whatever." Well, I've got news for you-- you don't have to be brilliant, witty, or perfect to succeed. That is not what public speaking is all about. I know it may look that way, but it's not. You can be average. You can be below average. You can make mistakes, get tongue-tied, or forget whole segments of your talk and still be successful.
It all depends on how you, and your audience, define "success." Lets start with the fact that your audience doesn’t expect perfection. I used to think most audiences did, but I was wrong! Before I discovered this, I used to put incredible pressure on myself to deliver a perfect performance. I worked for days to prepare a talk. I stayed up nights worrying about making mistakes. I spent hours and hours rehearsing what I was going to say. And you know what? All this did was make me even more anxious! The more perfect I tried to be, the worse I did!
The essence of public speaking is this: give your audience something of value. That's all there is to it. If people in your audience walk away with something (anything) of value, they will consider you a success. If they walk away feeling better about themselves, feeling better about some job they have to do, they will consider you a success. If they walk away feeling happy or entertained, they will consider their time with you worthwhile.
Don’t avoid eye-contact
Nerves create a need to hide. So what do we do? We don’t look at anyone. We look down or look away. If we can’t see them, they can’t see us, right? We’re hidden in front of a crowd of people.
Since that doesn’t work, the old “look just over the tops of their heads” advice pops into mind.
You’ve heard it before. “If looking people in the eyes makes you more nervous just look at the tops of their heads. Let your eyes roam at forehead or hair high through the room. The audience members will think you are looking at them.”
No they won’t.
Look directly into people’s eyes with kindness. If anyone smiles when you look at him or her smile back. Create rapport through your visual contact. Doing so will show that you are speaking to that person.
Identify 3 persons in the audience whom you want to speak to: One on your left, one in front of you and one on your right. Deliver your speech to these 3 persons by looking into their eyes. Look at them for about 4-5 seconds and “switch target” to the next person. This will create the feeling that you are looking into their eyes.
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